Telling Kids about Divorce? Avoid These Mistakes.
Theres no doubt this might be one of the most difficult conversations youll ever have. Its a talk your children wont want to have ” and you must be prepared.
Having the “divorce talk” with a child you love is one of the toughest conversations you’ll ever have. Shouldn’t you be prepared? Professionals all agree on some of the most common mistakes parents make when bringing up divorce or separation. These include:
* Pressuring children to make choices. Most kids feel torn when asked to choose between their parents. Dont put them in that position.
* Failing to remind children that none of this is in any way their fault. Your children are innocent but they dont always realize it. Its your place to tell them this again and again in the months to come.
* Sharing information only adults should be aware of. Parents often do this to bond with their children or try to win them over. It creates a burden that children shouldnt have to bare. Talk to adults about adult issues.
The good news is there is lots of help available to you from qualified professionals. For a peaceful divorce, try mediation or an attorney specializing in the Collaborative Divorce model. Family therapists are always an excellent resource. You can also reach out to clergy, guidance counselors in the schools or professional coaches who handle divorce and family issues. In addition many outstanding books and articles provide expertise on this subject.
However you approach this challenging conversation, be prepared. Understand the effects ” both emotionally and psychologically ” this news can have on your children. Learn how to avoid the common mistakes parents make when they havent done their homework in advance. You and your children can survive — and even thrive — after divorce.